What Cannot Be
by KathrynD1993
Summary: Solas and F!Lavellan spend time together in the early hours of the morning. One-Shot.


Solas watched Ellana sleep for most of the night. Usually he would welcome sleep and journey into the Fade, but she was worth being awake for. Ellana looked serene: her long, dark auburn hair askew and normally hard features softened to a pure content look. It was pleasing to witness, however, it was the subtle movements that captivated the Elf: the way Ellana's long eyelashes fluttered as she dreamed, the shallow rise and fall of her ample bosom, the way her velvety soft lips twitched.

Solas could only hope they were peaceful dreams. He hesitated, then tenderly, he moved strands of hair away from obscuring her face and tucked them behind one of her small and rather pointy ears. He pressed his lips to her forehead and placed a gentle peck. Emotion swelled up inside him and he had to swallow the lump that had quickly formed in his throat.

To anyone else doing nothing but watch someone would feel like a lifetime, the hours ticking by agonisingly slowly. Solas could only wish it would be: time spent was the Inquisitor was precious to him, and unfortunately it would never be enough... They could never have a life together. Their relationship would end, even if the world didn't. It was heartbreaking reality.

Still, it was worth it: no matter how fleeting their love may be, the weight that left Solas' chest when he finally let go of his restraint was insurmountable. To love and more importantly, to be loved was worth the heartbreak, and the emotional turmoil that would surely follow.

The Elf broke the kiss and exhaled heavily at the unwelcome and unavoidable ache in his chest. He blinked a few times, his eyes having became moist.

"Mmm, why are you awake my love?"

Blue eyes grew wide at the pleasantly unexpected gentle voice and his heart leapt at the words. His eyes trailed down to look at the source, fondly.

Bleary eyes, the colour of nature- a mix of vibrant greens and dark browns- returned the warmth, quickly accompanied with concern. "Are you alright?"

A warm hand cupped his face, a thumb brushed across his cheek wiping a tear that had escaped unnoticed. He kissed the palm reassuringly, his glassy eyes scanned over her face. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. But yes, I am alright. Better than alright, in fact."

"You were thinking of something that was making you unhappy not long ago." Ellana observed meeting his gaze.

Solas traced along the intricate tattoo across her cheek and chuckled, "Unearthly beauty and limitless intelligence."

Ellana rolled her eyes, "I presume you don't wish to speak about it."

"I... Am simply happy and do not wish for this to end." It was a struggle for him to admit it, and even more of a struggle knowing it would.

The Inquisitor smiled sadly and nodded in agreement.

Solas' tongue flicked over his lips, he didn't want to have sadness as part of the memory when it thought of her. "There is also other... things I can do with my mouth opposed to talking."

Ellana's eyes grew wide, the throb between her legs was instant. She was speechless at the implications.

Solas smirked rather pleased with the reaction he received, it wasn't often the Inquisitor had nothing to say. Steadily, he leaned in and captured the Inquisitor's soft mouth with his. It was a tender kiss, laced with passion and emotion. Worry left him as did the ache in his chest.

Ellana returned the kiss with equal fervour and edged closer to him under the furs. Their lithe bodies pressed close together, clothes an irritating obstacle. Reluctantly the Inquisitor broke the kiss, "I want to feel you." Her voice was barely a whisper but Solas could hear the desperation. "I won't try anything." She added, sensing his apprehension.

Solas thought for a moment then with a bob of his head they began removing their clothing.

It was a slow process. Ellana ran her hand over each new area of his flesh that was exposed to her, her finger tips tracing patterns and shapes into his skin. He savoured her gentle touched, the way her warm breath caressed his skin. It was overwhelming pleasure of mind and body.

Solas did the same to her, Ellana's body warming and coming to life under his touch. She shuddered every time his fingertips touched her in a feather like manner, a soft moan escaping her mouth. It pleased Solas greatly; he worried for a time he wouldn't be able to please her in such a way.

Solas couldn't remember the last time he was this close to someone... Or even the last time he had someone he could call a friend. The only friends he had were spirits, relationships with living beings were fleeting. This was different. The connection they shared was unlike anything he had ever experienced with a living being. They understood each other on many levels. Their feelings mutual on most things.

Leaving Ellana would be more than difficult, Solas knew that much. He doubted he would ever experience anything like this again. A part of him wished he had never allowed things to go this far, yet if he had the chance to change it he wouldn't.

Their naked forms pressed together, both sighing in unison. Ellana wrapped a leg over his hip, while he snaked an arm around her back and pulled her close. They lay like that for a moment, his chin resting on her head while she listened to his heart beat.

Eventually Ellana nudged him over onto his back. He'd expected her to mount him but she didn't, she respected him too much. Ellana ignored her evident arousal and climbed on top. She lay down, pressing her lithe body to his as close as she could physically manage, all the while ignoring the ningling feeling she was crushing him. "Talk to me." Her voice was barely a whisper.

Solas' lips curled upwards in mild amusement, she could be so innocent at times."What do you wish to hear about?"

Ellana ran her fingers over his chest and down his ribs. Her eyes closed in relaxation. Solas thought she had fell asleep by the time she answered, "Tell me about your journeys in the fade."

He ran his fingers through her untamed auburn locks and planted a kiss on her forehead. "Now the question is where to begin."


End file.
